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uns3ttl3d 38, Female, New York, USA - 57 entries

Jan 2007
2:05 PM EDT

i love you because i admire you because you make me want to be a better person. but i can't. after failure upon failure i can only realize that i am inherently a bad and selfish person. i cant change myself overnight. i cant change myself at all. when i realize that i dropped out of college last week i realized i did this because i cant handle myself. i need to figure things out. i need things to make sense. i need to take a breathof fresh air. i need to discover new things and be in a new surrounding. i need to learn how to adapt and adjust to new and different situations because i felt like my life in new york made me feel trapped. immensely trapped.

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Enigma23 42, Female, New York, USA - 11 entries

Jan 2007
12:16 PM EDT

I've had a very interesting week. I quit my job and I don't know what going on with certain aspects of life. You know there are times when you want to scream and pull out your hair. Then there are times when life seems so perfect. Why can't things be more peaceful at times and not so stressful at times.

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retirik 58, Female, Illinois, USA - 36 entries

Jan 2007
10:14 AM CDT

В четверг Ребешка сходила в школу с большим удовольствием. В пятницу школы не было, очередной свободный день (несколько дней в месяц). В пятницу мы съездили к др. Сегал, и она сказала, что Ребешка выздоровела. Когда парковались у нашего дома, то увидели наших соседей на крыльце их дома. Мы не общались с лета, так как теперь холодно и никто не гуляет, все сидят по домам. Они пригласили нас зайти на минутку и мы просидели до самого вечера. Ребешка играла с Люсией (Люсия на год старше Ребешки), а мы с Бьорном болтали с Полом и Аидой. У нас с ними много общего и всегда интересно разговаривать. Пол работает редактором в National Geographics, а Аида - психологом. За три часа мы успели обсудить все - от значения наших снов до Бьорновых родителей. Летом мы так проводили каждый вечер - у них во дворике за домом. К сожалению, они собираются переезжать - в Северную Каролину. Я бы тоже с удовольствием переехала туда - там сейчас так хорошо, сухо, светит солнышко, одна благодать. Да, проанализировали с ними Бьорновых родителей, а наутро нам позвонила свекровь. Первый раз с марта или апреля. Бьорн поговорил с ней немножко, она даже заплакала в трубку, что давно не слышала его голоса. Как всегда, мне хочется сказать: "По собственному выбору вы не слышали его голос". Хотелось бы вернуться на нормальные отношения с ними, но трудно представить, как это возможно. Ведь они обязательно вернутся к предъявлению претензий. Так было каждый раз. Они приезжают к нам, проходит неделя, они уезжают, я перекрещиваюсь, рада, что все прошло хорошо и все были довольны. А они по приезде звонят и говорят: "Да, мы очень разочарованы, что, когда мы прибыли к вам с аэропорта, Лада, хоть и обняла нас и поздоровалась, а не сказала "Добро пожаловать в наш дом". Или, мы провели неделю у них, опять улетаем, довольные, что все прошло хорошо и никто на нас не обиделся, а через неделю они звонят и говорят: "Мы очень расстроены, что вы, уезжая, не сказали: "Спасибо за гостеприимство". Каждый раз они находят что-нибудь, чтобы мы оказались виноватыми. Хочется сказать: слушайте, мы потратили свои деньги, чтобы прилететь к вам, мы провели единственную свободную неделю у вас в напряженной обстановке, а не дома в расслабленной обстановке, что вы еще хотите? Как сказал вчера Бьорн у соседей, свекор сидит без дела один в доме и тщательно выискивает доказательства, что его не ценят. Ну, а как известно, кто ищет, тот всегда найдет. Хочется надеяться, что теперь, когда мы научились противостоять им, отношения будут на равных. Но трудно в это поверить. Мы-то научились противостоять, но они не научились принимать нашу автономность. Время покажет.

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Ashli 34, Female, California, USA - 24 entries

Jan 2007
11:12 AM EDT

hey all i prolly wont be able to post ne thin for a while cause my computer is being a pain...so kisses and hugs

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KaityGirl214 33, Female, New York, USA - 30 entries

Jan 2007
10:39 AM EDT

I'm eating a Yummy orange right now yummy yummy!

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1 comment(s) - 09:04 PM - 02/08/2007

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Jadeus19 39, Female, United Kingdom - 2 entries

Jan 2007
9:38 AM EDT

What a shit fucking day I had yesterday. All excited that Lee was coming home and all we did was bloody argue. I thought at first the night was going to be great. I dressed up in sexy underwaer, dimmed the lights, put music on and lay on the bed waitin for his arrival. When he came in we made pasionate sex telling each other how much we missed each other. he bought me perfume and it was great. then things took a turn for the worse. All his mates have been taking e's all over christmas and making a joke I said I know you hav been taking them one of your friends has told me (lying) well I just fell into it. He just said so what's a half here and there. I hit the roof! I really didn't think he was taking them he has always said he hates them. I was so disappointed in him. First for lying to me when I've asked him befor if he had had any(you may find through my entries he lies alot.) Second because he has been easily pursuaded by his friends and because I know if I was taking them behined his back he wouldn't like it and wouldn't want to be with me. Then we went out to the pub and had a good time until we went back to our friends house and his ex was their. Every where he went she was following him around I wanted to knock her out! We got home at 6 in the morn and I had to be up at 9 so I told him I'm not having sex with you tonight. I have never seen him be so nasty in his life. Now we are hardly talking and I don't know why we are together. Maybe it's my fault for building hopes up for a great weekend and now it's just shit!!!!

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charlax 71, Male, Arizona, USA - 744 entries

Jan 2007
5:38 AM MST

eye carry my bed a piece at a time

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Daydreamer 37, Female, Australia - 26 entries

Jan 2007
7:09 PM EDT

I have been thinking alot lately about somebody form my past who I had strong feeelings for. He only came up here on the weekends and that was too see his mom. He lived in another part of my state not too far away.At the time we were like 14 and 15 {Im the older one} and so neither could drive. He like loved me and I really liked him. He just kept asking and asking for me to go out with me.About nine months later I finally said yes. We dated for three months and I do believe that I feel in love with him.He broke up with me in such a harsh and painful way that really hurt us both.His mom died and now he doesnt come up here anymore.I have been thinking about seeing him in a self established reunion but I am scared for what he will say or do or think and what will happen.It has been three almost four years and I just am scared of what will happen but I have so much to say to him I feel like a reunion is what really should happen.

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1 comment(s) - 04:19 PM - 03/29/2007

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storminorma 65, Female, Florida, USA - 34 entries

Jan 2007
7:12 AM EDT

Nothing wrong with being industrious. I've spent about 27 working years in the field of manufacturing, and loved it all too! I think it fullfilled that "Artist" in me..to me it was like Arts and Crafts! I'm proud to say I've built many important things for this Country..MY Country..GO AMERICA!! WE KICK BUTT! Not that "down-time isn't nescessary too, that's what vacations are for. I think we all need a little bit of silence, AND a little bit of sound..Famous words from that Allen Jackson song! ( It's alright to be Itty-Bitty!) Same as work and rest. I also think BALANCE! is the key to many things! Ying-Yang, Black/White, Everything in Moderation, etc.. But, habitually being idle in my opinion, is just plain lazy mentally, and physically. Although, I understand fully regarding depression and other mental illnesses that can make many people idle in and with their own lives. It's not their fault, they are ill..What I don't understand is when able bodied, able minded people sit around all day complaining to "be bored with nothing to do..I find that attitude to be frustrating! There's always something to see or do...or how about helping someone else?! We have to be willing, and able to seek them out.. And we should all have an attitude of servi-tude, and gratitude..

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Jadeus19 39, Female, United Kingdom - 2 entries

Jan 2007
6:20 AM EDT

My boyfriend is due home today he has been working away all week. This was the longest amount of time we have spent apart from each other for about six months. I think he has missed me more than I have missed him. But I think it is harder for the person who has gone away. He has been sending me texts and ringing me loads. He said he want's to spend every second with me this weekend. I have had quite a good week though on my own. Went pub on monday, restuarant on Tuesday, pub Wdenesday and spent the day to myself yesterday. I really need to get moving have a shower and make myself beautiful as he is due home any min but I can't be arsed.

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